This morning I have been pondering all the things in my life I'm grateful for. It's amazing how abundant life becomes when you can spot those things of importance. The most significance is relationships. I'm not sure why I was so hesitant to connect with others, including my own husband and children. What a great journey I have been on and so blessed to have this time to learn more about how amazing my family and friends are. My gratitude is indescribable!!
Our children think it's a bit strange at times because that is not what they grew up with. I figured I was doing them a favor not connecting with them, thinking they would be disappointed in my short comings AND me a favor because then I wouldn't get hurt. Silly thoughts but they were very real.
In Napoleon Hill's book "Think and Grow Rich", one of his 6 fears... fear of loss of love. I would never have believed this was a strong driving force behind why I did what I did. The other big fear was .... fear of criticism. This one made sense, I grew up where I could do nothing right, according to everyone in my life such as; Teachers, Mother, Sister, Friends, Neighbors etc. I mean no one!!! I either talked to much or too little, did too much or to little, expected to do great in school but didn't, even my 7th grade choir teacher asked me in front of the class, "what in heaven's name are even doing in this class? You can't sing!" She suggested I not come back. Yes that is a true story.
It got so it became true for me as well. I self judged myself as never being good enough. When I married and started our family, this made more sense as to why I stayed back from connecting to those that matter most in my life. Those fears felt real and strong. HOWEVER, when I learned and understood more about what fears are and where they come from, I began to walk through the darkness as I started my new journey towards love and acceptance. First person being myself! I knew if I couldn't accept and love myself -- I knew I could not give what I didn't have!
This holiday season, give yourself the ultimate gift.... the gift of acceptance and love of who you are ... the good, bad and ugly!
Create yourself a fabulous day!
Jody
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Are you hungry?
I am so blessed to have others share their insights and perspectives with me. I enjoy learning the stories of others. I especially enjoy hearing the stories of my children and grand children. By stories I mean how they understand life, how they understand where they are and where they are going, how they understand and explain their thoughts, how they interpret the world, religion and others. You see, I wasn't always that open to hearing their stories. After "growing up", I learned there is no right or wrong story, just stories. My story is right for me because I'm writing it. Their story is right for them because they are creating it for themselves.
It's all similar to a playwright. We all have a personal play we are writing every moment of every day. We are the main characters in our play. We write in others as key characters, however what happens if that key character you feel is to be in your play, decides not to be? That when frustrations come, hurt feelings happen and we are confused as to why they can't simply see themselves as a key character in our play!
Until we learn we are our own playwright-er, we fill the role of puppet. Someone else is in control of our story. That is frustrating in itself. How many of us have these constant questions or thoughts?
1 Why do I feel so out of control?
2. Why must I have obstacles thrown in my way on a daily basis?
3. Can't I just have a minute of calm? of peace?
4. I am so frustrated I could scream!
5. I thought life was to be happy? I'm NOT happy!!
6. They make it sound so easy, life is just too hard!
If you can relate to any or all of these questions or thoughts then it's time you begin to understand who is in charge. You are!!
We do not have to agree to be in anyone else' play. We have agency that allows us to discern between good and evil. We can decide if we want to be a key character in someone else' play or not. Now are you feeling the power come back? Now are you starting to understand how empowered you can be? Maybe you are saying yes but now wondering how you can do that.
Your first step is to understand completely your story is not always the only story. You read that right, such is life! You are not always right. I bet some of you reading this post will become livid, uncomfortable, and asking what do I know, asking how could she say such a thing, doesn't she understand? Yes Yes and Yes, I do get it. I was that way for years. I'm not proud to say, I raised my children with the firmness I was right. Even if I wasn't, they didn't have to know. It scared me if they deviated from my story. It wasn't easy living with a Mother who "had" to be right. It kept me from hearing them, it kept me from learning how they felt. Most importantly, it became clear, I almost lost them.
I no longer am like those religious fanatics who read one verse of scripture and decides I know it all, No longer do I hear one sentence and decide, I know the whole story. If I hear a certain tone of voice, I no longer jump to conclusions that I understand the whole situation. I'm glad I figured it out to a small degree before it was too late. I have experienced a freedom that is hard to describe. Freedom to be me, freedom to love others just as they are. Freedom to decide what story I become part of.
I'm learning unconditional love. Unconditional love for myself, following Christ's example. He loved others no matter what! He loved how or what they believed. He may not have agreed, but he allowed them their agency to write their story. He didn't judge them. Now for those who adamantly disagree he didn't judge them...I'm sure your first response is, "he did judge, he judged righteously!" ....Please understand first the definition of judgment vs discernment.
Define...Righteous: morally right or justifiable -- proving you are right.
Judgment: a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
He NEVER forced others to believe he was right! He accepted them for who they were, he loved those good, bad and ugly!
It's time we feed ourselves with perfect love. Going inward to the "Christ within" to accept who we are, accept the good, bad and ugly of our self. Once we learn who we fully are, we can keep the light of Christ shining so other's can see their own path. We are of infinite worth, if you are doubting that then review the definition of "worthy"...Worthy definition: having worth or value --- we already have it so why do we define ourselves by working towards being worthy? It’s a mark that already exists.
It's time you become the playwrighter and stop being the puppet. Remember, we can not give to others what we don't have
Create yourself a fabulous day,
Jody
It's all similar to a playwright. We all have a personal play we are writing every moment of every day. We are the main characters in our play. We write in others as key characters, however what happens if that key character you feel is to be in your play, decides not to be? That when frustrations come, hurt feelings happen and we are confused as to why they can't simply see themselves as a key character in our play!
Until we learn we are our own playwright-er, we fill the role of puppet. Someone else is in control of our story. That is frustrating in itself. How many of us have these constant questions or thoughts?
1 Why do I feel so out of control?
2. Why must I have obstacles thrown in my way on a daily basis?
3. Can't I just have a minute of calm? of peace?
4. I am so frustrated I could scream!
5. I thought life was to be happy? I'm NOT happy!!
6. They make it sound so easy, life is just too hard!
If you can relate to any or all of these questions or thoughts then it's time you begin to understand who is in charge. You are!!
We do not have to agree to be in anyone else' play. We have agency that allows us to discern between good and evil. We can decide if we want to be a key character in someone else' play or not. Now are you feeling the power come back? Now are you starting to understand how empowered you can be? Maybe you are saying yes but now wondering how you can do that.
Your first step is to understand completely your story is not always the only story. You read that right, such is life! You are not always right. I bet some of you reading this post will become livid, uncomfortable, and asking what do I know, asking how could she say such a thing, doesn't she understand? Yes Yes and Yes, I do get it. I was that way for years. I'm not proud to say, I raised my children with the firmness I was right. Even if I wasn't, they didn't have to know. It scared me if they deviated from my story. It wasn't easy living with a Mother who "had" to be right. It kept me from hearing them, it kept me from learning how they felt. Most importantly, it became clear, I almost lost them.
I no longer am like those religious fanatics who read one verse of scripture and decides I know it all, No longer do I hear one sentence and decide, I know the whole story. If I hear a certain tone of voice, I no longer jump to conclusions that I understand the whole situation. I'm glad I figured it out to a small degree before it was too late. I have experienced a freedom that is hard to describe. Freedom to be me, freedom to love others just as they are. Freedom to decide what story I become part of.
I'm learning unconditional love. Unconditional love for myself, following Christ's example. He loved others no matter what! He loved how or what they believed. He may not have agreed, but he allowed them their agency to write their story. He didn't judge them. Now for those who adamantly disagree he didn't judge them...I'm sure your first response is, "he did judge, he judged righteously!" ....Please understand first the definition of judgment vs discernment.
Define...Righteous: morally right or justifiable -- proving you are right.
Judgment: a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
He NEVER forced others to believe he was right! He accepted them for who they were, he loved those good, bad and ugly!
It's time we feed ourselves with perfect love. Going inward to the "Christ within" to accept who we are, accept the good, bad and ugly of our self. Once we learn who we fully are, we can keep the light of Christ shining so other's can see their own path. We are of infinite worth, if you are doubting that then review the definition of "worthy"...Worthy definition: having worth or value --- we already have it so why do we define ourselves by working towards being worthy? It’s a mark that already exists.
It's time you become the playwrighter and stop being the puppet. Remember, we can not give to others what we don't have
Create yourself a fabulous day,
Jody
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